A failure: Finding a purpose through Christ

I'm a failure. Not because I'm not doing anything with my life. Not because I did not dedicate my life to God, and Not because I'm not doing anything for Him. I'm a failure for today's society of "success." But despite this seemingly failure, i'm still proud to say that I am still useful and joyful in being part of the ministry.

Fail.

My failure comes from me being a graduate of Information Technology. Today's IT business is BIG. Software developers are in demand. IT graduates and professionals are earners of large salaries. But, i'm just here, not being a developer or programmer. My lack of talent for programming comes from my lack of desire for it. It may seem that I am just reasoning out, but if you have read my Salvation Story post, there was a time where I wanted to quit college and join a Bible school. It was kind of a change of heart, and the more I learned about God, the more my interest shifted from Technology to Theology. After graduating on October 2013, I was a stay at home guy. I was either reading Christian-related posts or manga. Well, I did not plan to work immediately, since December was near and Christmas in the Philippines is so grand and special to us. We celebrate and eat, and since it is also Christmas season now, i'll just share some of our Christmas traditions. We often have Christmas parties, and just last week, I had 4 Christmas parties to attend to. Then after that, we have our family gatherings and celebrate Christmas on 24 evening - we call it Noche Buena. We continue to celebrate Christmas on the 25th morning in my other aunts house or just continue the party at our house. 26 and 27 is like a break of the celebration, but sometimes we just meet up with our cousins or friends. 28 is my dad's birthday, but we usually celebrate it on the 30th which is a holiday for our national hero. Then comes New Year's eve and New year's day. So yeah, that's how grand my Christmas is.

Anyway, during January, I helped with one of our events, where we had a seminar/fellowship with over 60 Pastors coming from different churches, and after that I just had to have a vacation until summer comes where I planned to help at the canteen for summer camps. So summer was busy for me, where I joined camps and helped at the canteen. After summer, my aunt from states came home for a 2 month vacation, and I also had vacation with them. After that, I became a NEET for around 2 months. If you are not familiar with the term, NEET stands for Not in Education, Employment or Training. So this time, I was just at home, reading, watching and trying to answer a "good" answer when people ask me "so, what are you doing now?" I try to answer with me being busy in the ministry, and how I like to serve in the church. It was an honest answer, mixed with me just reasoning out. I actually am busy in the church, but that is when I am in church. Maybe 2-3 days at church and the rest at home. It may seem like I am just using the church as an excuse to escape reality, or escape me being a NEET. If you have read my post God's will through desperate times, you will know that I now have a work. Computing the time that I have no job, it would be 1 year. Since I started this October, and I graduated October last year. Funny thing is, I did not get my diploma yet! haha My job is not IT related, or anything like the business, but I believe God brought me to that place to serve there.

Finding a Purpose

Finding a purpose in life is not easy. As a kid, people will always ask you "what do you want to be when you grow up?" And for the most part, this is where we dream, be ambitious and go for the "BIG" jobs and careers out there. Be it being a doctor, actor, businessman, or lawyer. But, how about those "simple" jobs out there? A worker? naaaah. Why? Because we want success, right? We want to own our own company. Be the boss of our own firm, or some job that brings a lot of money. But how about working in the ministry? As a kid, I often shy away from this question. "So, do you want to be a Pastor like your dad when you grow up?" I did not like it. I hated this question. Not because being a Pastor is low, or not a "successful" job/career, but... I don't know. I don't even understand and know about how hard it is being a Pastor, it's benefits and the minimum support for it. It just annoys me I guess? Because they ask it every time. Every time! Though, being one is awesome :)

As I said earlier, I believe God brought me to my workplace now to be a light in that place. Since we had our Christmas party last December 18, I was the one who organized it. I was the opening remarks, and also the opening prayer. It was a way for me to show that I am a Christian. When I was about to pray, a kid suddenly said "Our Father" and me growing up as a baptist and never know about Catholic prayers, I was rattled! I did not know how to react or what to say. So, seconds later I mentioned that I wasn't Catholic but asked them to still join me in prayer. Well, after the program, one guy approached me and said "You are a Christian right?" 

When we center our life around Christ, that is when we will see our purpose. When we guard our heart, protect our testimony, watch our speech and be careful with our testimony, that is when we can see that we have a purpose. Being a Christian is not only about being a Christian at church, or at home. It is about being a Christian all the time. We can serve God not only within the church, but most specially outside the church. In our work, our home, our neighborhood, simply in public. And how can we do that? Our Christian testimony.

No matter how we perceive ourselves as a failure, if we can dedicate ourselves to serve God, He is able to use us and be glorified through us. It is not about our ability, but it is about our availability. Dwight L. Moody is a preacher who was not so good in his grammar. When one person told him that he can glorify God more by not speaking in public, he replied that at least he was doing his best for God and even asked the guy "What are you doing with your ability?"

" ' You make too many mistakes in grammar,' he complained.
" ' I know I make mistakes,' was the reply, 'and I lack a great many things, but I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.'
He paused and looked at the man searchingly, adding with his own irresistible manner:
" ' Look here, friend, you've got grammar enough--what are you doing with it for the Master?' "

Again, It is not about our ability, but about our availability. 

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9