Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Life lesson on expectations

In my last blog post Struggles of a PK, there was one point where I talked about false expectations. And as I was contemplating about "expectations," it hit me! Aren't I also placing false expectations with our young people at our church? Sometimes, I expect them to behave well in church because they grew up in the church and that they were already taught how to behave and what not.

Expecting is a thing

Then my friend at church told me "you know, I actually don't expect anything out of them." hahaha, well, the saying goes, "High expectations, High disappointments.. Low expectations, Low disappointments."

So, maybe the lesson I learned here is this:
"Do not expect your fellow church members to act like how a Christian should behave, but TRUST that the transforming grace of God is working in their lives."

Before we expect anything out of them, or even "judge" and "condemn" them on how they live and behave, let us ask ourselves first:

1. Are we praying for them?

Are we praying for their spiritual growth? Protection from temptation and sin? 

2. Are we guiding and helping them or are we just expecting them to behave like a Christian based on past lessons or sermons dealing with a certain topic?

Enough said. Before we think that they are not behaving like how we expect them to behave, THINK! are we guiding and helping them? We are leaders for a reason. We do not expect them to climb alone the ladder or something. 

3. Are we thinking about their situation and circumstances in life?

Sometimes, we tend to think that all people are the same. We forget that everyone of us has different experiences and different ways of growing up. I have been expecting our young people to be good people while forgetting that they live in a broken, non-christian family, or their public school environment and etc. 

4. Are we categorizing people based on their behaviors, sins, or their activeness in church?

We should not think that serving God is only limited to singing, or praying or even being active in church. You could also serve God through cleaning the church, sweeping the floor etc. I used to categorize people into:
  • "the aloof members,"
  • "the easy to order around members" 
  • "the talented members"
  • "the naughty members"
And this is a wrong way of thinking!

5. Are we loving our church members?

Continuing from categorizing our members, we should love them equally. We should not pick favorites based on how good or how bad we think they are. Categorizing will only lead us to think that "we are better than them" or anything that leads us to think that the quality of our faith leads us closer to God. It blinds us to the truth that God loves everyone. 

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